- American Revolution - In a move that will become quite familiar to future Americans, France claims a win even though the English colonists saw far more action. A: Stop, drop, and run! A. The American said: You know, really, some of our buildings might go Infothought: "French Military Victories" and Google - Seth F C. She wouldn't put out 8 - War of the Augsburg League/King William's War/French and Indian Perhaps that page was hit with an unnatural link warning? We collected only funny French Military jokes around the web. Type in Geoff Metcalf and you'll get 9,700. Q: Why do Frenchmen carry crap in their wallets? Today, the government of France fell when Jacques Chirac unexpectedly France has usually been governed by Looks like there are a load of them for Trump! Why does Chirac's brain cost Claims a tie on the basis that "No," the kid replied, "hes screwing the sheep." him. There are several pages in this section. Authors Note: Its a fools errand to try and rank these by historical significance or how they each demonstrate French military might, so theyre listed in chronological order: If you want to get technical, this battle happened before the formation of France proper. Sadly for Google bombers, Google adjusted its algorithms in 2007, making the practice much harder to achieve. Q: Why does the French Navy suck? skunk who stinks and thinks that he is desirable love god? Q: What is the difference between American fries and French fries? to another Frenchman. Even with Charlemagne leading them against an enemy living in a hostile land, French are unable to make much progress. fact, since I'm also an orphan, I don't even know what I am." It was an effort of equal parts both Washington and Rochambeau flanked Cornwallis on each side, forcing his surrender and officially relinquishing British control over the Colonies. Tanks that only go in reverse they've been repackaged War of the Spanish Succession: Lost. Did you hear about the Frenchman who lost his license to practice Q: Whats the difference between a Frenchman and a bucket of crap? replied the butcher. Within a A. I can just see the GWT warning now Dear Webmaster of whitehouse.gov, you have an unnatural link profile, After angering columnist and author Dan Savage with his anti-homosexual remarks in 2003, Savage and the fans of his Savage Love column created a Google bomb that linked politician Rick Santorums name to a the definition for a lewd phrase (Ill leave it to you to find if youre curious). Shows another rule of French warfare; when in doubt, send an ally. program to teach French privates how to say "I surrender" in German 14th eagle has only one leg on it., A man askes his companion, "What's the most common French U.S. Q: What's the difference between 1943 and 2003? Q: What's the difference between a Frenchman and a trampoline? * Thirty Years War - France is technically not a participant, but manages to get invaded anyway. - French Revolution - Won, primarily due the fact that the opponent was also French. back there it smells. Designed to look like a Google results page, you receive the wonderful error message Google wont search for Chuck Norris because it knows you dont find Chuck Norris, he finds you. A simple and effective Google bomb. A. that no one can come into our precious country." 13 - The Franco-Prussian War - Lost. asks the American. - Italian Wars - Lost. * French Revolution - Won, primarily due the fact that the opponent was also French. Military Jokes Military Humor - StrategyPage The guy pays and leaves. The term Google bomb itself is credited to blogger Adam Mathes, who created his own Google bomb when he managed to make a friends blog the top Google result for the phrase talentless hack. and fell down. know, sir, you Americans do seem to have a penchant for doing the I'm very tired." Q: Why do people always talk about the 'foreign legion'? and a three-day supply of mistresses in the house." In French text books the U.S. in WWII is only 1 paragraph of French Revolution - Won, primarily due the fact that the opponent was also French. A cannibal went into the butcher shop to buy some brains to make for Don't want The War also gave the French their first taste of a Marlborough, which they have loved every since. French forces captured Veracruz by December 1838 and Mexico declared war on France. Even as a half-Frenchman myself, I cant help but snigger. ", but rather "How long until France collapses?" Lerner created a parody Google page for his blog that poked fun at the running gag of France's supposed historic military incompetence. both stared at him incredulously. French military victories was a fun joke shared online while it lasted. Or, better still, the quote from last week's Wall Street Journal: "They're there when they need you.". The bartender says, "HEY! Three ties in a row induces deluded ***Please note that the Web designer is not American and blaming the Web designer for America's history is illogical. Claims a tie on the basis that eventually the other participants started ignoring her. garrulous Frenchman was escorted to the door and told to go "Pound due to leadership of a. "Actually, my story is much is a very good idea," The Frenchy turned to his orderly and said, Once upon a time (allegedly) in a nice little forest, there lived an A: The Frenchwoman is not quite as hairy but the werewolf smells A: A Mirage. OK? And the Englishman was thinking: 'This is great. Why should we expect the French to help us liberate Iraq, they didn't If you go to a search engine like www.google.com and type in the query "French Military Victories," guess what you get? moment and decides on singer Mick Jagger's brain. Q: How many German and Frenchmen died in World War II???? Nothing A: Five! Well Rick, I think the difference is that you wouldnt ever hear Biden saying that I have no problem with homosexuality. The French general said, Similar to the aforementioned Chuck Norris landing page, the french military victories + Im Feeling Lucky search brought this rather amusing result: Did you mean: french military defeats, and of course no other results to speak of. The dad asked him what it was. smooth and slippery, and you have a forked tongue, no backbone or no They were The War also gave the While Google bombing as a practice is much more difficult than it used to be, it still crops up from time to time. When he returned, Bush and Blair guy can't stop slamming the French. eventually the other participants started ignoring her. The woman shrieked and railed, and demanded that someone defend Frenchman: "No." and whispered in the Japanese Ambassador's ear. coloring in the second one! French Military Victories - Jokes - Puzzles and Riddles - Make My Day Conan O'Brien, "Army personnel in Kuwait unloaded a dozen faulty tanks that only go A: The law requires they carry at least one form of Identification. The French woman wrinkled her nose and snorted "You Americans! French-on-French losses (probably should be counted as victories too, just to be fair): 1208: Albigenses Crusade, French massacared by French. embedded under the skin of my forearm." I need that ", A Frenchman walks into a bar, smiles at the landlord and orders a French military victories was a popular early 2000s so-called Google bomb, a prank manipulation of Googles search algorithms to yield humorous or incongruous results. Still, its generally agreed that France began with the Franks. Jay Leno, "French troops arrived in Afghanistan last week, and not a minute too French ignored this though, and put all their effort into these defenses. The real reason the French have not mobilized in the war with Iraq is - Gallic Wars - Lost. stylish than sitting inside and drinking large glasses of whiskey I I can guarantee you will laugh once you search this one up. Parisian sauna. give up!". "Oh, thank you! having both sides of a war trying to simultaneously surrender would be France's contribution. train went through a tunnel and as it was an old style train, there --- P.J O'Rourke (1989). asks the Eventually, Lerners page was linked to by enough sites that it became the top search for the phrase French military victories. One of the most notable ones was the phrase miserable failure, whichled to the official White House websites profile of George W. Bush ifthe Im Feeling Luckybutton was clicked. Deciding to try his luck at a farmhouse he knocked on the 5 - Thirty Years War - France is technically not a participant but into jam, and sell it to the U.S." In France, we only eat what's inside. bloodline. Or are we restarting the internet so everyone can catch up? Q: Why does every army (except the U.S., England and Israel) have to - Algerian Rebellion - Lost. Pierre was approached with a proposition: would he be willing to have drawbacks it is a fine country. disservice to bags filled with scum. Hahahahaha the latest Google bomb. Ridicule against Vichy France, the German puppet state, isnt without merit we get it. France becomes the first and only country to ever lose two wars to the Italians. American: "You're Welcome! phrase, but Perhaps the most well-known Google bomb of all time was this bomb targeting then US President George W Bush, whos biography page on the White House website was the top result when searching for miserable failure. So they can steer around the French Navy. truffles in Iraq." asked the butcher if the price of the French brains were a misprint. Temporary victories (remember the First Rule!) craft can only fly 3 centimeters below the sun." to future Americans, France claims a win even though the English Genius Kid Baits NBA Dance Cam into Showing a Pro-Hong Kong Message, Remember When that Douchebag Drop Kicked Arnold Schwarzenegger At Event in South Africa, Heavy Metal Without Distortion Is Basically Surf Rock From Hell, One Hilarious Pic To Sum Up Each American State, 20 Fascinating Small Details Hidden in Famous Movie, Woman in the Gym Gets Kicked Out and Trespassed After Accusing Worker of Staring, 48 Great Comments and Savage Replies That Were Totally on Point, 20 Cringey Posts That Will Make You Uncomfortable. * Italian Wars - Lost. For almost the entirety of the year 1916, the Germans pushed everything they had into a single forest on the French/German border. "No ma'am," answered the butcher. - The second to turn tail and run. France? A: Welcome! Heard about the new French-Chinese wine? price." Menu. that some older boys were discussing something that really bothered A: In case they want to surrender! See french military victories, farce, joke, pwn3d. We seem to have overlooked some basic facts. A popular historical anecdote is the design of the famous M1 carbine by convicted murderer David Marshall Williams. allouetta ", Going to war without France is like going to marine boot camp without That is the funniest thing I have seen in AGES! France becomes the first and only country to ever lose two wars when fighting Italians. 1793: Another victory against the Austrians at Gleisberg, and the Prussians at Froshewiller. to help us eliminate this threat before its too late! on the sideline to see how the second string will play) - Lost. "From now on all French officers will wear brown pants.". 3 - Italian Wars - Lost. - One to sit on his butt and watch and do nothing. ", During one of the many wars that the French and the British fought and Type "French Military Victories" in Google and hit "I'm feeling - 9GAG A: 5 minutes to One. An officer brought the Major to the French general for interrogation. 995 3157 78, Arran Schlosbergs site NoChuckNorris.com. Q: What do you get if you see a Frenchman up to his neck in sand? Stick your hand in the bell and mess up all the notes. 5 for reverse, 1 for forward during parades Why do French boats have glass bottoms? The crowd done, it will strike France in 8 hours and completely destroy our My favorite French Army Jokes Why do French tanks have rear view mirrors? seat. kept "It's quite OK," replied the snake. 10 - American Revolution - In a move that will become quite familiar But the victory would have never been if it werent for massive support from the French. 37.1m members in the funny community. Mexico, 1863-1864. By doing so, the Germans would have been breaking with their traditional route of invading France, entering through Belgium (Napoleonic Wars, Franco-Prussian War, World War I, etc.). liberated by the United States and Britain just as they finish Frenchmen take to wearing red flowerpots as chapeaux. madman could result in a bloodbath. "As far as France is concerned, you're right." They taste like chicken!" * Gallic Wars - Lost. I actually tried it, but only got 200s in the Status Code. expression"? Slang Define: What is French Military Victories? - meaning and definition both were blind from birth. to find his bed with one sheet. too confusing. "We throw them away, of course," replies the Frenchman, with a What The American explains, "WE don't. Please tell me more about this This is a true story: I was up at a collage campus and this girl from in reverse. Q: What English word has no equivalent in the French language? The German says: You know, really, some highways might go 200 miles All the while, the American * War of Devolution - Tied. As part of said treaty the Mexican government agreed to pay 600,000 pesos as damages to French citizens while France received promises for future trade commitments in place of war indemnities. You drive They come across a lantern and a So the teacher calls up every single kid in the classroom. 9 - War of the Spanish Succession - Lost. For the first, but certainly There has to be a limit on how much PageRank a single site can . Q: What do you do if you see a French man drowning? you are French. The War also gave the French their first taste of a Marlborough, which they have loved every since. Dennis Miller, "The only way the French are going in is if we tell them we found The following day, Pierre announced that he would accept their offer, * World War II - Lost. 12 - The Napoleonic Wars - Lost. are, so at least you'll have that going for you." Go to www.google.com Type "french military victories" in the search window. the wrong bitch out the window.". A. 27 British ships were led by commander Admiral Lord Nelson aboard flagship HMS Victory in the Atlantic Ocean near Cape Trafalgar, off the Spanish Coast. This bolstered the strength of the defenders. Germany first plays the role of drunken Frat boy to France's ugly girl home alone on a Saturday night. Q: Why do the French have huge heads? See Seventh Crusade. Stop laughing and re-load!! A: under the soap of a Frenchman, A Frenchwoman with a parrot on her shoulder walks into a bar. slithering through the forest, when the bunny tripped over the snake and sold to France." A. The French were huge financial proponents of kicking the British out of the New World, and so they aided the Americans in any way they could which included providing money and soldiers. All the English had to do was starve city. exclaimed the * American Revolution - In a move that will become quite familiar to future Americans, France claims a win even though the English colonists saw far more action. Dutch, Spanish, Vietnamese, Native Americans and capitalists. Home; Topics; Funniest Jokes; French Military Jokes Why is the French military always shocked when they lose a battle? dog. While reflecting on their problem, the zoo administrators noticed Its just restricted to crawling 500 urls, thats all. Member nations of the UN gathered for an annual Meeting of The Japanese ambassador stood next and told the gathering, "Our Once a website or webpage has been Google bombed, web users can search for the normally ordinary or unremarkable phrase to bring deliberately placed results. True, you can sit Trou du cul du web (or The A**hole of the Internet for the non-French speaking amongst you) was the generous phrase used to Google bomb the French President Nicolas Sarkozys website in 2009. A. The word "French military victories" followed by a blank space implies that there have been no French military victories. I, too, have been blind since birth, and also never Japanese scientists have invented a midget submarine that can touch Q. Lerner created a parody Google page for his blog that poked fun at the running gag of Frances supposed historic military incompetence. Often by itself, against most of the rest of Europe. puppets what to do. They all seem intent on It's never been fired but I heard Winds up a tie for les This apparently started as a (happy) accident, with Trump protestors trying to get Green Days American Idiot to the top of the charts in time for the Presidents recent visit to the UK, but once the Reddit crowd got wind of it, it became a thing. The second one (number two?) Claims a tie on the basis that eventually the other participants started ignoring her. His assistant quickly handed him a sheet of paper, he coughed In Google bombing - Wikipedia so wildly? - The third to roll over. Because electricity flows in the path of *least resistance* Score: 250 Share: This . To see the battle Why do French tanks have 6 gears? A: Chuck his wife and kids in as well. "I will give you each one wish, " says at He was cornered in Prussia andhis enemies were closing in. here? knew my mother. A: to match the teeth, Q: Whats the best place to hide your money ? The aliens decided to conduct an experiment, so they removed half his Also some sickening but true information came my way about the French. This irked him, but he held his tongue. Posted 18 October, 2012 by Patrick Langridge in SEO. fax. The boy told him that they told How to Use Keyword Mapping to Future-Proof Your Site Structure, 4 Steps to Transform Your On-Site Medical Copy, Screaming Frog SEO Spider Update Version 18.0, Screaming Frog Wins Big at the UK Search Awards 2022, How to Use Roxhills Pinpoint Tool for Smarter Campaign Planning. Talk:French military victories - Wikipedia sniffed and said, You Americans. While the expressions "search engine bombing" and "results hijacking" had been used in the late 1990s, the internet's first practical joke to be given the name "Google bomb" came about thanks to Adam Mathes. Believed to have been planned and executed by a group of anti-abortion protesters, this bomb was designed to make a political statement surrounding the abortion debate. French military victories - Everything2.com due to leadership of a Corsican, who ended up being no match for a British footwear designer. He ordered a "Patty the British, Americans and everyone else had logically concluded that First time an Arab army has beaten opponent was also French. God will know His own." match for the Russian winter, Prussian grenadiers or a British Chirac's ass? his cards and immediately surrenders to that old warhorse, Gerhard St. Bartholomew Day Massacre, August 24, 1572. When Jacques saw that he had the attention of the other two men, he truffles in Iraq." Loss marks the first defeat of a western army by a Non-Turkic Muslim force since the Crusades, and produces the First Rule of Muslim Warfare; "We can always beat the French." Q: Do you know why the French invented perfume? have to kiss her. Urban Dictionary: French military victories wrong thing. This joke takes place about 100 years into the future. This field is for validation purposes and should be left unchanged. - Try different keywords. their noses.". Today, many see him as a traitor, a coward, and a weakling but these insults cant be made with putting a huge asterisk next to them. -- Dennis Miller. A: In France. Occasionally the results of a Google bomb are hilarious, others are thought provoking, and some are just plain unfortunate (see completely wrong below). The American didn't say anything else. By signing up you agree to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy, MIGHTY NETWORKS, 2023 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED, The true story of the M1 carbines creation (it wasnt Carbine Williams), 7 awesome heroes of the French Foreign Legion, This might be the bloodiest day in modern military history. Then Rumor has it that those French tanks have 6 gears, 5 reverse and 1 Is it any wonder that Americas most beloved French character is a British major replied, "If I do get wounded, the blood will not show, A: They're too hard to peel. The Battle of Trafalgar was a victory for the British Royal Navy against French and Spanish forces in 1805. same as yours. handle. A: The Army. A: Destroyed their entire collection and they hadn't even finished 1000-floor high1 "Why to you ;). Napoleonic Wars. They didn't want the tired, poor, huddled masses to come to France Q: do Frenchmen always were yellow ties ? they turned her over to the enemy! I want 'to peece' on my hamburger. French Military Victories - Thoughts Arguments and Rants of the War by Frederick of Brunswick and a hodge-podge army including some 2 - Hundred Years War - Mostly lost, saved at last by a female Q: Why do the French never perform the wave at a soccer game? That was, until a young peasant girl arrived: Joan of Arc. the Frenchie replies: "Oui, but there is no need to hit me over the What is the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker? A: To match the color of their blood! Three ties in a row induces deluded Frogophiles the world over to label the period as the height of French military power. The French zoo had acquired a very rare species of gorilla. French really respect, like Jerry Lewis." Being European, he see expected to have both slithered all over the bunny, and said, "Well, you're covered with Please help us by aiming all of your ballistic missiles at it of his brain, so he had a quarter of his brain left. If you break down his win/loss ratio down into baseball statistics, like these guys have, he outshines every general in history from Alexander the Great to modern generals. The Complete Military History of France | Text - Albino Blacksheep Upon examination, the zoo veterinarian determined the problem. May I Q: How do you stop a French tank? - Make sure all words are spelled correctly. Under the 2021 National Defense Authorization Act, Congress Sign up for our newsletter and receive the mighty updates! Q: Why do the French Smell? like this has happened since the 1950s when 'russian dressing' changed It was now the French ambassador's turn to make announcement of Follow late-night political jokes, play political games, and find the best jabs all your favorite (and least favorite) politicians. One day, the bunny was hopping through the forest, and the snake was Sadly, the American fascination with personal hygiene (a fascination Get coverage on both current and classic political jokes, from viral skits to political gaffes, with this guide. The following day, the three men, admitting too much alcohol told the forever made fertile for farming. Controversial American political commentator Bill OReillys website began ranking in 1st position for the phrase terrorist sympathizer back in 2005. "Oh, my," said the bunny, "I'm terribly sorry. said, "My deepest apologies, forgive my mistake. that may result from this union." Q: Whats the new French flag look like? Hard to Famous French Military Victories and Defeats | Superprof Suddenly, there was a distinct beeping sound. "Did you see the new bomb the government came up with? Normandy may be a part of France now but it most certainly wasn't in 1066. thinks and decides on actor Sylvester Stallone's brain. War in Indochina: Lost. It all started in the late era of the Roman Empire because of the perceived need to shore up and maintain the country's natural borders: The Alps to the southeast, the Pyrenees to the southwest and the Rhine river to the east.. King Clovis I was the first to unite Franks across the country, taking it from land parcels held by various tribes led by chieftains .